Erik, Jenn, Tyler & Mason

This post is not coming to you VIA Jennifer. This is her husband, Erik. I decided to hijack her blog (ah...the things you can do when in possession of another's password) and tell her how I feel about her. This will probably not be posted for long, I am sure as soon as she sees it she will remove it. HERE GOES! Jennifer, my dear, I love you oh so very much. On Monday is our 1 year anniversary! A whole year! That may not seem like much, but my oh my it has flown by quickly. Since you are a relative young'un that year actually represents around 4.76% of your entire lifespan(thus far). I still keep my eye out for things that represent 'US'. Who can forget the 'EJ' Truck? I have never stopped looking for, nor noting 28s as they pop up all over the place. I notice all of the little things you do. I notice the little faces you make. I notice the little noises you make. I notice the slight shifting of your posture in response to my incessant joking. This face was made...

My mom found my sister's journal. It only had three entries in it. The second of which reads: "I was driving home from my boyfriend's house tonight and the thought occurred to me, what if I get in a car accident? I know if I did, that my last thoughts would be of my mom, my sister and my boyfriend." Kind of interesting.

So if you read Jaime's blog then you already know we went to the Ape Caves. Jaime's camera took really good pictures in the dark, so I stole some of hers to put on here. Here we are decending into the caves. They are real live caves if you haven't been there, it's actually pretty cool. Here is my little boyfriend, Gunnar. I told him on the trip that if my daughter is cute he totally has to marry her. John says she has to be smart and nice too. Jaime said she only has to be nice.

I have so many blessings. Lately I have had more than I can count. Most recently, here are some of the blessings I have noticed: A loving husband Wonderful, caring friends The Atonement of Jesus Christ Faith in my Savior The perfect house dropped in our laps for dirt cheap A great career A very strong mother Loving and supportive grandparents A healthy pregnancy Success in my career A very supportive Young Women presidency and Mia Maid advisor Less migraines than usual Several non-member friends investigating the church because of my sister's funeral Enough money to have what I need and most of what I want A hunger for the scriptures' teachings Good memories of Sarah to lean on Wonderful in-laws A potty-trained dog who likes to cuddle when I need it A flexible work schedule The knowledge of where Sarah is and what she's doing right now The promise that we can be together forever (and will be) The many blessings and teachings of the holy temple A positive work environment Re...

I wrote this email to Romi, Jaime's sister today, and I like how it came out. So instead of rewriting my feelings, I'll just post them on here. I miss my sister with a passion I've never felt toward any other person. I loved and continue to love her more than I have ever loved anyone else on earth. I would have happily gotten in that car if it could have been me instead of her. My heart breaks to know that she died in pain and fear. However, somehow I am making it through this. I feel the prayers of hundreds behind me and the arms of Heavenly Father holding me up when all I want to do is lie down. Coupled with the knowledge of the atonement, I am surprisingly able to "hang in there" knowing what I know about where she is, who she's with and what she's doing right this minute. I only hope she can forgive me for all the dumb big sister things I did to her and the bad choices I made when I was younger. I still find myself believing that she's no...

So many have reached out to us with love and support. I want to thank you all. I still have no words but I want you to see what others have to say: Click here to see Sarah's Guest Book

Sarah, if you can read this, I love you. I miss you. I will live my life for you. I will never forget you. I forgive you. I can't wait to be with you again. I know you are in a better place now. Please know that I love you and that none of us blame you for this. I dreamed about you last night. After you died. It was around 1:00am, before I found out you were gone. I dreamed we were in church together, sitting in Young Women's class. You looked beautiful, happy. I want to remember us like that. Together and happy. I'm still in shock. I'm at the airport right now going home for the first time in over a year so I can be with my mom. My cousin sent me this article a few minutes ago which just makes it all seem even more real. Click here to see the article